prayer ~ spiritual nourishment

"Indeed the chief reason for the evils now rampant in society is the lack of spirituality. The materialistic civilization of our age has so much absorbed the energy and interest of mankind that people in general do no longer feel the necessity of raising themselves above the forces and conditions of their daily material existence. There is not sufficient demand for things that we call spiritual to differentiate them from the needs and requirements of our physical existence.

"The universal crisis affecting mankind is, therefore, essentially spiritual in its causes. The spirit of the age, taken on the whole, is irreligious. Man's outlook on life is too crude and materialistic to enable him to elevate himself into the higher realms of the spirit.

"It is this condition, so sadly morbid, into which society has fallen, that religion seeks to improve and transform. For the core of religious faith is that mystic feeling which unites Man with God. This state of spiritual communion can be brought about and maintained by means of meditation and prayer. And this is the reason why Bahá'u'lláh has so much stressed the importance of worship. It is not sufficient for a believer merely to accept and observe the teachings. He should, in addition, cultivate the sense of spirituality which he can acquire chiefly by means of prayer. The Bahá'í Faith, like all other Divine Religions, is thus fundamentally mystic in character. Its chief goal is the development of the individual and society, through the acquisition of spiritual virtues and powers.  It is the soul of man which has first to be fed. And this spiritual nourishment prayer can best provide.

"Laws and institutions, as viewed by Bahá'u'lláh, can become really effective only when our inner spiritual life has been perfected and transformed. Otherwise religion will degenerate into a mere organization, and becomes a dead thing. The believers, particularly the young ones, should therefore fully realize the necessity of praying. For prayer is absolutely indispensable to their inner spiritual development, and this, as already stated, is the very foundation and purpose of the religion of God."

    (Shoghi Effendi, Directives from the Guardian, p. 86)

Parenting advice from a Ugandan elder

'Kaaka' means 'grandmother' in one of the Ugandan languages.  Kaaka Irene is my dear friend, Osiria's, mother.  From the moment we met, there was a spiritual connection of love that brought us close together.  Her bright smile and warm heart were like a magnet for mine. 

One time I went to kaaka Irene's room to visit with her.  We sat on the bed together and talked like old friends.  She sorted dry beans, removing the rotten ones from the good ones as we talked about the spirit of life.  She was ready to answer the question I had first asked her upon meeting her:  'What advice would you give me to raise my daughter?"

Kaaka Irene raised a daughter whose heart is overflowing with love for God in a genuinely spiritual way of living her life. Her daughter is such a spiritual rock in my life that I had to ask kaaka Irene that question.  I wanted to know what she did or how she lived to convey that spirit and moral character into her daughter.

With a page full of notes written in her native tongue she began translating her answer into English (a language she taught herself as an adult while living in Uganda!). I listened intently to every wise word she humbly offered.  Briefly, this is the advice she gave:

• Parents have to lead by example because kids are always observing to see if you are doing what you say or if its mere talk
• Parents should speak into the lives of their kids...we have the power to create by the words we say...speak what you want to see happen in the lives of your children
• Affirm your children and let them know they are very, very precious; let them know what can add or reduce the value of their lives
• Choosing friends wisely and not following the path of the wrongdoers..this involves learning to say no even to peer pressure...even at the risk of being unpopular among peers....the good should always overcome the bad
• Make devotion and prayer a habit...total dependence on the guidance of God
• As mothers, we have a big role to play because we have the power to impact generations

Listening to kaaka Irene that afternoon left an imprint on my soul.  She spoke as an elder with wisdom -- that blend of spiritual qualities which glows through silence and speech, through stillness and deeds.  Her heartfelt words, spoken oftentimes with passion and emphasis, made my soul feel as if it was being nourished.  It felt as if my ancestors and holy souls orchestrated this moment in my life.  I was hungry for her knowledge and experience and she shared it so generously and thoughtfully with me as if I was her own daughter.  It was one of those gems of oneness in my life..

days of the fast

"This Fast leadeth to the cleansing of the soul from all selfish desires, 

the acquisition of spiritual attributes, 

 attraction to the breezes of the All-Merciful, 

and enkindlement with the fire of divine love." 

~ Compilations, The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting 

i close my eyes.
i rest my mind.
i silence my tongue.
i bow my head.
i begin to pray.

it is time to..
reflect inwardly.
commune with my spirit.
humble myself before my Lord.
remain still.
draw upon divine assistance and inspiration.
look deeply at my weaknesses and faults.
determine to root them out, one by one, day by day.

..these are the days of the fast.

"Material fasting is a token of our spiritual detachment. The Physical fast is simply restraint from eating physical food: physical detachment. The greater detachment is the spiritual fast: detachment from all desires of the self. This latter is our goal and the harder to attain. Still, we have the material fast to remind us and help us on our way towards real detachment. The Guardian assures us that prayer and fasting will help us in this struggle. He said they ”act as stimulants to the soul, strengthen, revive and purify it, and thus ensure its steady development”. The fasting time, he said, is ”essentially a period of meditation and prayer, of spiritual recuperation”. He did not say it was a time of hunger, so the incidental hunger is of no consequence. It is not important. The significance and purpose of the fast is ”fundamentally spiritual in character”. 

~ On Behalf of Shoghi Effendi quoted in Fasting, A Baha'i Handbook p. 54

B-STRONG ~ facing death

Dad & Marti surrounded by our family, August 2012

a week ago i watched my dad pass away.  he had been lying in a hospice bed in the living room of his home for 7 days without food or water.  his body had been overcome by lymphoma.  two weeks before his passing he could no longer feed himself or move his body due to extreme weakness and pain.  he was given morphine on the day that he refused to swallow anymore, so he was almost lifeless for a week except for brief moments of semi-consciousness where he would open his eyes, raise his eyebrows or move his lips a little bit as signs that he was still aware of his surroundings despite being unable to communicate.  by the last two days of his earthly life, these outward signs of communicate were no longer apparent and i had to rely on trusting that he could still hear my voice..

i arrived 3 days before his passing, staying by his bedside as often as possible.  i could not think of leaving the house, nor did i have any desire to do so.  i spent many hours praying silently and softly in his ear or by his side.  i massaged his neck, hands and feet, and gently rubbed shea butter cream onto his face.  sometimes his lips needed to be moistened.  the inside of his throat was dying but the home health aid used a medicinal swab to wipe his teeth and gums.  by the last morning of his life, the nurse commented that she had never seen anyone live longer than 5 days without water and food..

my dad's license plate was 'B-STRONG'.  his life was all about loving God and trusting in God, from Whom all his strength came.  his motto, 'be strong' was a tribute to his surname, Strong, and how to be, or how to live this life.  this was personified all throughout his fight against lymphoma.  this past year, especially, was full of complications, surgery, falls, hospital stays, emergency room visits, needles and procedures, doctor appointments and follow-ups, and pain that can never be measured -- but my dad never complained!  he was spiritually strong every single day, giving praise to God, relying on God and trusting in God.  he emitted joy and constantly joked in a lighthearted manner.  in his tiredness or weakness he would apologetically choose to have no visitors or stay home instead of attend an event -- and as he was continually visited by family and church family, he made them feel happy and loved even though he was exhausted or suffering in pain.  even to the last week of his conscious life, while his mind was now often forgetful and confused and his body was overcome with pain, he would say he was 'fine' or 'doing well'.  this is how he showed all of us to 'b-strong'..

this is my account of the last day of his life:
at 4:30am i arose to pray that morning.  for the first time i opened the prayer book to the prayers for the departed, preparing my soul to pray for his soul.  afterwards, in the darkness, with the loud sound of the oxygen machine running, i came to his bedside and wept for over an hour, emptying my heart to him, whispering to him, praying for his soul..my heart ached for the pain and long-suffering he’d endured these past 2 years, but especially this year, not being able to drive, to walk, to go to church, to play ball, to go fishing, etc. – all the while being so radiant and light-hearted and joyful..

that time with dad felt the closest i have ever felt to him as a soul.  i could feel his spirit hanging on to see my husband, dashiel, and our children.  by late morning, dash and the kids arrived and greeted him with all of their love.  shortly thereafter, the hospice nurse came for the first time since he’d been put on morphine.  she was the one who predicted he would pass away within a week.  soon after she left i noticed for the first time that dad’s extremities were no longer warm – one of the final signs that death is imminent.  we lovingly expressed to him that finally we were all here with him, and that we were awaiting his reunion with God..

a few hours passed before noticing he seemed restless and that it was time for more morphine.  it was 4:30pm.  within a few minutes, a slight gurgle turned into a constant gurgle.  my aunt determined that this indeed was the ‘death rattle’.  i called my step-mom, marti, to come.  she brought the Bible and tearfully recited some of the holy verses to guide his soul in this process.  we then called the family to come together for prayer and loving support.  we all stood around his bed listening to the difficulty of his breathing, aware of the coolness of his hands and feet, aware that the hour of ascension was upon us.  marti hugged dad’s head and kept showering her assurances of the glory of heaven and dad’s returning home to God as the tears poured forth from her eyes.  from the depths of her heart she said how she’s always loved him and how she always will, and that she will see him soon.  we each took our turn by his head and hand to express our love.  we stood in silent prayer for some time while my aunt hummed a hymn.  we all entered a moment where we felt that he was going to continue to be like this so my sister and i left him to begin preparing dinner.  a few minutes later his breath changed and we ran back over..

this is when time stopped and our family entered a moment that we cannot fully recount.  standing side by side, each of us touching a part of dad’s body, we listened closely and tenderly to each very slow breath that he took.  the gurgle was gone.  our eyes and hearts were fixed upon helping his spirit leave his body.  tears softly flowed from our eyes.  then my sister asked me to offer a prayer. 

i offered,

"Whatever God hath willed hath been, and that which He hath not willed shall not be.  There is no power or strength except in God, the Most Exalted, the Most Mighty.”

and

“Is there any Remover of difficulties save God?  Say: Praised be God!  He is God!  All are His servants and all abide by His bidding.”

after a few moments i asked our daughter if she could sing, ‘This Earthly Plane’ by Elika Mahoney.  the melody and words seemed to permeate the inner recesses of our hearts with such penetrating power that surely dad’s soul was uplifted from the sorrow and suffering that his body had endured for so long.   at certain moments each of us switched positions with others to be near to his face.  i was able to have this bounty when dad’s breath became very, very soft and slow.  i put my hands upon his cheeks and said goodbye.  i offered one last prayer in his ear and then gazed into his glassy eyes.  at this moment, my sister asked our daughter to sing, Amazing Grace.  as she soulfully began to sing, we all witnessed as he gently and ever so softly took in his last breath.   i touched his chest and confirmed that there was no more heartbeat.. the time was 5:40.

the peace, the serenity, the solace, the tranquility, and the complete rest of my dad’s body had finally come.  our tears were for his suffering and for ourselves, recollecting and remembering the myriad of ways he touched our lives and many other lives.  we hugged each other and consoled each other and acknowledged his soul’s release from the cage of his worn body.  it felt surreal.  it felt deeply heart-wrenching yet deeply confirming.  his life was a testimony of faith and love for God that he served as an example to all of us for how be one of God’s servants.  his suffering revealed his soul’s capacity to exemplify fortitude, perseverance, long-suffering without complaint, and above all, radiant acquiescence..

the viewing and funeral attracted over 400 people to say goodbye and show their love and respect to my dad.  his death left an empty space and void in 100's of people's lives in addition to his family.  wherever he went he introduced himself, saying 'Hello, Bob Strong" with such a friendly disposition that people said goodbye feeling happy and valued, respected and loved.  he emanated the love of God so naturally that it was easy to be around him and always want more of him.  our family now talks about his 'legacy' -- how he has left all of us with a standard of kindness and what it means to 'do good unto others' that we all feel inspired to be like him..

dad, a fisher of men, on his boat, Good News, at the jersey shore

..we all face death and know it is an inevitable part of life, yet when it happens it opens up the heart to an ache and pain that enters every crevice of one's innermost being.  no matter how deep our faith and assurances are of the spiritual life of the soul beyond this earthly plane, we grieve the loss of our loved ones.

this was my first time being in the presence of death and witnessing how the spirit leaves the body.  i now have a deeper understanding of how the spirit of the soul is what attracts us to others -- it certainly isn't the body that remains living in our hearts.  the spirit that animated my dad's body is now reunited with its Creator.  i now find myself talking with and praying for my father's soul in a purely spiritual manner, relying on the spiritual bond of divine love that we shared in this life:

"In prayer there is a mingling of station, a mingling of condition. Pray for them as they pray for you! When you do not know it, and are in a receptive attitude, they are able to make suggestions to you, if you are in difficulty. This sometimes happens in sleep. but there is no phenomenal intercourse! That which seems like phenomenal intercourse has another explanation." The questioner exclaimed; "But I have heard a voice!" 'Abdu'l-Bahá said: "Yes, that is possible; we hear voices clearly in dreams. It is not with the physical ear that you heard; the spirit of those that have passed on are freed from sense-life, and do not use physical means. It is not possible to put these great matters into human words; the language of man is the language of children, and man's explanation often leads astray."
    ~Abdu'l-Baha, Abdu'l-Baha in London, p. 96

one of our outings together when our family lived in Rochester

Niagara Falls 2005

“..a father and mother endure the greatest troubles and hardships for their children; and often when the children have reached the age of maturity, the parents pass on to the other world. Rarely does it happen that a father and mother in this world see the reward of the care and trouble they have undergone for their children. Therefore children, in return for this care and trouble, must show forth charity and beneficence, and must implore pardon and forgiveness for their parents. So you ought, in return for the love and kindness shown you by your father, to give to the poor for his sake, with greatest submission and humility implore pardon and remission of sins, and ask for the supreme mercy.”

               ~Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith, p. 329

mindful of our thoughts

i have been thinking a lot recently about the many kinds of thoughts that enter my mind each day..

i bring God to mind throughout the day -- mindful of my wholehearted reliance upon Him, gratitude toward Him and above all, love for Him, the one Creator.  this is the overall spirit in which i live this life as a soul..

as much as these elevated thoughts are consciously wrapped up in and interwoven with love in my heart, there are a lot of other thoughts happening in my mind as well.  i am constantly thinking about friends, past memories and future possibilities, reflections from what i've read, news stories, world issues, life decisions, family, meals to prepare, things to get done, etc.. these thoughts are random and almost effortless, just part of what makes up who i am in terms of importance and responsibilities as an individual.

at a deeper level, though, there are the kinds of thoughts which creep into my mind and trouble the soul, agitate the heart, and detract from the light within me:   hurt, regret, prejudice, negativity, anger, fear, anxiety, insecurity, etc.  they take the form of sentences like 'i wish..' and 'what if..'

these kinds of inner thoughts require conscious attention and effort to purify, discipline or silence.  the more pure my heart is and the more attached i am to God rather than this world, the less present these wayward thoughts are within me.

i strive to empty my mind of these thoughts by replacing them with prayer and meditation.  i am learning to be evermore conscious of what i am thinking so that my mind can be free of the clutter which pollutes my soul and prevents it from being purified of all that is worldly.  i want to protect my soul from thoughts which are harmful to my well-being.

there is much guidance from the Baha'i Writings on how thoughts must be directed in this life.  through effort and attention, we can elevate and focus our thoughts, enabling ourselves to grow in detachment from this material world and grow nearer to God:

O people of God! Do not busy yourselves in your own concerns; let your thoughts be fixed upon that which will rehabilitate the fortunes of mankind and sanctify the hearts and souls of men.

  

Center your thoughts in the Well-Beloved, rather than in your own selves.

He should consume every wayward thought with the flame of His loving mention, and, with the swiftness of lightning, pass by all else save Him.

(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah)

So great is the folly and perversity of the people, that they have turned their face toward their own thoughts and desires, and have turned their back upon the knowledge and will of God -- hallowed and glorified be His name!

(Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Iqan)

*****

...material ideas and worldly thoughts attract man to the center of self. Anger, passion, ignorance, prejudice, greed, envy, covetousness, jealousy and suspicion prevent man from ascending to the realms of holiness, imprisoning him in the claws of self and the cage of egotism.

(Compilations, Baha'i Scriptures, p. 546)

What could be better before God than thinking of the poor?

The man who thinks only of himself and is thoughtless of others is undoubtedly inferior to the animal because the animal is not possessed of the reasoning faculty.

He who is so hard-hearted as to think only of his own comfort, such an one will not be called man.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Foundations of World Unity, p. 42)

Leave all thought of self,
and strive only to be obedient and submissive to the Will of God.

...the trials which beset our every step, all our sorrow, pain, shame and grief, are born in the world of matter; whereas the spiritual Kingdom never causes sadness. A man living with his thoughts in this Kingdom knows perpetual joy. The ills all flesh is heir to do not pass him by, but they only touch the surface of his life, the depths are calm and serene.

Today, humanity is bowed down with trouble, sorrow and grief, no one escapes; the world is wet with tears; but, thank God, the remedy is at our doors. Let us turn our hearts away from the world of matter and live in the spiritual world! It alone can give us freedom! If we are hemmed in by difficulties we have only to call upon God, and by His great Mercy we shall be helped.

 Think not of your own limitations, dwell only on the welfare of the Kingdom of Glory.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks)

  
Let us put aside all thoughts of self; let us close our eyes to all on earth, let us neither make known our sufferings nor complain of our wrongs.

Think ye at all times of rendering some service to every member of the human race.

Every imperfect soul is self-centred and thinketh only of his own good.

...ye must also be thinking of everyone, so that mankind may be educated, character moderated and this world may turn into a Garden of Eden.

So long as the thoughts of an individual are scattered he will achieve no results, but if his thinking be concentrated on a single point wonderful will be the fruits thereof.

Think ye of love and good fellowship as the delights of heaven, think ye of hostility and hatred as the torments of hell.

...think none to be your foe.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha)

...now assure thee, O servant of God, that, if thy mind become empty and pure from every mention and thought and thy heart attracted wholly to the Kingdom of God, forget all else besides God and come in communion with the Spirit of God, then the Holy Spirit will assist thee with a power which will enable thee to penetrate all things, and a Dazzling Spark which enlightens all sides, a Brilliant Flame in the zenith of the heavens, will teach thee that which thou dost not know of the facts of the universe...

    (Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v3, p. 706)

...search out your own imperfections and not think of the imperfections of anybody else.
    (Abdu'l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace)

...must always be thinking of doing good to someone, of love, consideration, affection and assistance to somebody.

Every soul of the friends of God must concentrate his mind on this, that he may manifest the mercy of God and the bounty of the Forgiving One.

    (Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i World Faith, p. 217)

*****

looking through this window of the Baha'i gardens fills my mind with prayerful reflections.  it makes me feel present and still with myself as a soul, conscious of my inner spirit.  no thoughts of myself linger in this moment of stillness.

if our thoughts are like a mirror, then they are reflecting what we focus them on.  if we live this life in love with ourselves, rather than worshiping our Creator, our thoughts will be consumed with greed, jealousy, vanity, and covetousness.  if we are striving each day to see the Beauty of God within us and around us, then our thoughts will be considerate, fair, honest, and full of care.


i wonder what occupies other people's minds and how they are managing the throne of their inner temple..

prayer..to start the day

the alarm on my cell phone comes on at 5:10am.  after washing, i tip-toe downstairs so i don't stir any young soul from their sleep in the 2 bedrooms close to ours on the second floor of our house -- our 2 boys will be awake before 6am when the light shines through the edges of the windows where the curtains end, but our jr. youth aged daughter will need to be woken up by 6:15 as she now loves to sleep in..

i come to the rug on the floor which is situated in front of a bookshelf and a framed photo of the entrance to the Shrine of Baha'u'llah.  the room is dark except for the light shining in from the outdoor lights on the compound wall.  i take the prayer beads from the bookshelf and prostrate in submission to God, facing the Qiblih, or Point of Adoration (in the direction of the Shrine of Baha'u'llah, His resting place)..

i didn't grow up prostrating but now, as an adult, i feel as if my day is not starting properly if i have chosen to pray without first bowing my head to the floor.  to me, prostrating is a most private act of worship to the Creator -- not one demonstrated in a public space or shared with a group.  it is a sacred moment when my soul supplicates with God, submitting my will to His, without any selfish desire, only desiring His good pleasure and for my will to conform with the Divine Will.   prostrating before morning obligatory prayer has become a way of life and the first step toward demonstrating my station as a humble servant of God..

obligatory prayer as a Baha'i consists of performing ablutions and chanting Allah'u'Abha 95 times in private.  Allah'u'Abha means 'God is the Most Glorious'.  it also consists of offering one of three prayers revealed for daily use: the short, medium or long obligatory prayer.  i almost always choose the short one, which is offered at noon or up until sunset, because it ensures that i can concentrate on it with full devotion and not miss a day.  my favorite is the long obligatory prayer which evokes humility and a powerful connection with God, but i seem to mostly have enough time and attention for it when i'm fasting from March 2-21 each year..

once obligatory prayer is finished, i sit and pray, as well as recite, the holy words revealed by Baha'u'llah.  this is a time of supplicating for divine assistance, offering praise, and beseeching God for mercy.  woven within these prayers are thoughts of other souls for whom i am also praying.  these are moments wrapped in the invisible forces of spirit that sustain and nourish our souls.

dawn has arrived and i feel the energy of the day beginning.  my soul has been nourished, receiving its spiritual food to strengthen it in its journey of striving to attain nearness to God.  i cannot manage life without prayer..without that intimate communion of my soul with its Creator..the vital link which taps me into the world of divine assistance, knowing i am not alone..ever.

i can now hear the pitter-patter of little feet upstairs as my boys prepare for school.. it's time to rise and put into practice the divine Teachings from God..

remembering Delft, South Africa

dyami playing checkers on a handmade board with soda caps

  

today i am quiet and tired.  after 6 hours of sleep i woke at 4:45 for the fast.  at first i was very sleepy but after a cup of water and a cup of a green drink, i was ready to buzz around the kitchen preparing everything for the morning routine.  by the time i had taken nutritional supplements, enjoyed a strong cup of coffee, and savored toasted flat bread with homemade hummus, i was running upstairs to wake ayana (who was sleeping in my bed because dashiel is out of town) and sing a prayer to the boys who are always so sleepy upon waking.  when the time reaches 7:20am and it's time to leave, they have brushed their teeth, dressed, prayed, recited, read a story, eaten breakfast and taken turns to talk with me about whatever is in their young hearts and minds..

during the fast i don't pray until the kids have left for school.  the other days of the year i wake early and pray before everyone wakes.  for these days of fasting, i like to spend that first hour or so making my body strong for the day.  when the sun rises and i'm done taking care of the kids' lunches and breakfast, it's time to clean -- sweep, sometimes mop or clean the floors, wash a load of laundry, etc. and then i become immersed and wrapped in prayer, reflection and reciting of the holy Word with wholehearted devotion, humility and submission..

a jr. youth, Siphesihle, who became a Baha'i

after a long period of quiet time and working in the kitchen, i started to feel tired.  writing gives me energy so i decided to write a post.  i stayed up a bit too late last night looking through old videos on our external drive.  i wanted to find a short one that would not take up too many megs and one that was from South Africa, related to our time of serving there as Baha'is.  the videos of South Africa evoke a deep longing in me to return there -- to Cape Town in particular -- where a group of young souls touched our lives in immeasurable ways.  words continue to be inadequate to express the love our hearts experienced living in south africa.  that love reached it greatest depths in delft when arising to serve in one of the neighborhoods -- we offered spiritual education classes from the Baha'i teachings on Oneness, universal brotherhood, justice, peace and a high moral standard of conduct.  we have very few memories on video that capture the essence of joy, unity and spiritual bonds of friendship that were established over a period of 3 years, but the one above depicts the joy they felt being with our family.

 

a few of our closest young friends from Delft

my heart is still saddened if i dwell on how much i miss those dear souls.  when i am tired, as i am now, i close my eyes and pray for each soul in south africa that is in my heart.. each morning.. each moment..as i remember them.

fasting reflections..suffering

the plant i look at each day while sitting at our dining room table

this flower looks to me as if it is praying.  it has opened itself up to the sun, beseeching and praising the sun for its energy and sustenance.  its beauty symbolizes the Beauty of God.  it is majestic and full of astonishment.  it is in this spirit that i raise my hands in supplication to the Almighty One and draw upon the mysterious forces at work during the Baha'i fast.

outside of the days of the fast, i am usually zipping around the house, constantly doing something, even if it is sitting down preparing a lesson for a children's class.  i carry joy in my heart, with a quiet gratitude for everything that God has chosen for my life -- including the bugs, humidity and our kids' conflicts. :)
 
my energy during the days of fasting shifts to an inward, reflective mode and outwardly i slow down.  i call God consciously to mind as much as i can, emptying my mind of anything i consider petty and material.  i tap into and depend on the spiritual forces derived from prayer and detachment from the things of this world to sustain me, inspire me, cleanse me of impurities and strengthen me to overcome my many weaknesses.

this weekend (the 2nd and 3rd days of the fast) we hosted a friend who spent about a year in the northern region of ghana.  she shared many stories of great difficulty -- extreme heat, giant locusts, no electricity or water sometimes, many types of insects and geckos finding their way to her bed, silt from dirt roads in the air and constantly settling in her home, rashes from the water stored in tanks, never a clean or accessible toilet when traveling, etc.

just listening to these stories -- the most creepy being when she woke up to a giant ant burrowing itself in her open wound by her knee when she fell the night before -- flooded my being with awe at how people have great capacity to endure the difficulties of this life.  i have had my share of hardships, pain and sufferings but it feels like nothing compared to the daily experience of living in extreme hot temperatures without modern conveniences (including something simple like bug repellent) -- every aspect of life is difficult.  the body doesn't get to shower away the never-ending presence of perspiration; the food one prepares is without running water to simply rinse rice and beans or clean vegetables; the clothes one wears requires handwashing and hanging (on which invisible eggs are laid by bugs that make the skin itch when worn); the time of menstruation must be indescribably difficult without enough water to wash oneself or any linens that become soiled..

tests and difficulties are blessings in disguise.  they are the means by which we, as souls on this journey we call life, grow nearer to God -- we must choose to respond to them using the virtues of God with which He has endowed our souls, no matter how excruciatingly difficult.  sometimes we are tested in ways that feel beyond our capacity.  but God never tests a soul beyond its capacity.  those who suffer the most attain the greatest station in the sight of God.  with God's inscrutable wisdom, there is recompense in the world beyond for the suffering in this world..

"It is only through suffering that the nobility of character can make itself manifest...It is transformed into fortitude, steadfastness and magnanimity. The lives of Bahá'u'lláh and 'Abdu'l-Bahá are the best examples for this. Sacrifices in the path of one's religion produce always immortal results, 'Out of the ashes rises the phoenix'."

    (Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 603)

in my silent reflection today, i realize that i haven't been tested in ways that i perceive as very, very difficult to endure.  i do not know how i would be facing their circumstances.  i trust their suffering -- which is primarily a result of the body politic not having true love and unity which it needs to care for everyone -- will be recompensed according to God's inscrutable wisdom in the worlds beyond this physical life.  in addition, i know that we are all tested by God, each according to our own unique role in God's Will.  there is no comparison.  each soul has its own suffering to face or struggles of self to overcome.  there are many ways in which God tests His servants:  money, other people, natural disasters, disease, poverty, death, materialism and many other changes and chances of this world.

"... Suffering, of one kind or another, seems to be the portion of man in this world. Even the Beloved ones, the Prophets of God, have never been exempt from the ills that are to be found in our world; poverty, disease, bereavement - they seem to be part of the polish God employs to make us finer, and enable us to reflect more of His attributes!.."

    (Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 603)

i will continue praying to remain steadfast in my love for God, no matter what He chooses for my path to grow nearer to Him..i don't want to be ensnared by materialism, frozen with lethargy after a natural disaster, or frustrated with cockroaches.. we are each like that flower whose beauty is revealed gradually through opening itself up to the Creator and submitting to whatever forces of Nature come its way.

fasting..a reminder of the sufferings of the destitute

today is the first day of the Baha'i fast which lasts for 19 days and is followed by the Baha'i New Year.  the Baha'i fast transcends the physical restraints of abstaining from food and drink after sunrise and before sunset.  each moment holds an exalted position in the realms of God as one fasts "out of love for Thee and for Thy good-pleasure -- and not out of self and desire, nor out of fear of Thy wrath.." [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.3]

as a Baha'i, one never knows if one's deeds are accepted in the sight of God.  it is known to Him alone.  fasting is a very personal and intimate time of communing with God.  in one of the Baha'i prayers, Baha'u'llah reveals for us,

"..Deign to accept, O my God, the deeds that we have performed in Thy path wholly for the sake of Thy beauty with our faces set towards Thy Cause, free from aught else but Thee.."

   [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.5]

when i meditate on the prayers revealed for the fast, i am brought into that position of submissiveness, humbled before the Almighty One.  i know that i strive to serve God and His creation but have i truly offered up any service in His sight as wholly for His sake?  is my intention pure enough?  is my heart empty of all self-interests and detachment from all else except Him?

 "We, verily, have set forth all things in Our Book, as a token of grace unto those who have believed in God, the Almighty, the Protector, the Self-Subsisting. And We have ordained obligatory prayer and fasting so that all may by these means draw nigh unto God, the Most Powerful, the Well-Beloved. We have written down these two laws and expounded every irrevocable decree. We have forbidden men from following whatsoever might cause them to stray from the Truth, and have commanded them to observe that which will draw them nearer unto Him Who is the Almighty, the All-Loving. Say: Observe ye the commandments of God for love of His beauty, and be not of those who follow in the ways of the abject and foolish."

[Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.1] 

observing the law of fasting for these 19 days enables me to draw upon the spiritual forces released through prayer and detaching ourselves from all physical pleasures and selfish desires.  i am focused on cleansing or purifying my heart and mind of all my weaknesses and faults which prevent me from drawing nearer to God. this law of Baha'u'llah is like the brightest light which attracts my soul like a magnet in the direction of selflessness, obedience to God, sole reliance upon Him, and increased capacity to serve Him with a pure heart.


it is my first time fasting in ghana.  many Christians here fast several times a year, sometimes for 21 days at a time.  i am aware that the ghanaian farmers in the northern region fast as a way of life because there is so little food, water and money available to them (they eat once a day, in the evening).. most of the families i know, whose kids visit us all the time, have no pipes with running water.  they have no electricity.  they pound cassava root.  they wash their clothes by hand.  they depend on Nature to provide for the food they grow and for God to bless them -- in this way they have a great love for God and His grace, which they call to mind constantly when asked how they are doing.  there is no separation for them in their day for prayer.  it is a constant breathing in their minds and hearts..knowing them and seeing how they live

these friends, and millions of souls i don't know in the world, suffer from hunger and thirst on a daily basis.  water is not always able to be collected, and when it is, it may not be pure enough to drink.  even if it is pure enough to drink, it needs to be rationed and used for cooking, cleaning and washing.  these days water can be purchased in small sachets for a small amount of money, but money is scarce for most people as well.  many children do not even attend public schools because they don't have enough money for school uniforms and books.  so when i read..

"All praise be unto God, Who hath revealed the law of obligatory prayer as a reminder to His servants, and enjoined on them the Fast that those possessed of means may become apprised of the woes and sufferings of the destitute."

 [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.2]

..i am moved to the depths of my being because i know i need to be more 'apprised of the woes and sufferings' of my friends, my neighbors.  i am constantly thinking of the suffering around me, and i expend on my brethren as much as i can each day, but i know it's not enough.  i know the standard is the life of Abdu'l-Baha.  each year i am striving to reach closer to that standard of servitude -- selfless servitude and sacrifice for the sake of others, perfectly knowing how, when, and what to offer of my substance to all who cross my path..

"One who performeth neither good deeds nor acts of worship is like unto a tree which beareth no fruit, and an action which leaveth no trace. Whosoever experienceth the holy ecstasy of worship will refuse to barter such an act or any praise of God for all that existeth in the world. Fasting and obligatory prayer are as two wings to man's life. Blessed be the one who soareth with their aid in the heaven of the love of God, the Lord of all worlds."

[Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.1]

Baha'i "Morning Prayer" - Nabil M.

divine assistance through prayer

this frame is up in my dad and stepmom's home.  dyami was drawn to it and took this photo.  i'm so glad he did because it truly encompasses how i am living on a day to day basis.  as Baha'is, we are deeply aware of the spiritual forces at work in the world of existence.  through conscious communion with the Most Great Spirit we are able to tap into those forces of spirit and affect each other's souls.  this is most effective and powerful when drawing upon the holy spirit in the Word of God.  in this Day, it has been revealed through the Revelation of Baha'u'llah.  His Revelation is like an ocean.  it is vast, mysterious and immeasurable.  prayer, then, is like immersing oneself in this ocean and partaking of all its power.  prayer bestows spiritual life to sustain our soul on a daily basis.  it is indispensable, vital and essential for a truly magical, spiritual journey in this experience we call life.

we have a friend who is dying.  he is young.  his wife is my close friend.  she has reached out to me for prayer.  she lives very far away..  my father is battling cancer.  we all know dear ones who are in need of healing -- both physically and spiritually.  relying on prayer brings energy, hope and divine assistance.  it is faith in action.  it is surrendering to the Will of God.  it is relying on God and trusting in Him rather than on ourselves.  this is the magnet of divine attraction in our lives.  without it we are lost on our own paths of vain imaginings.  with each breath we can be in a state of prayer.  it is all about what we fill our hearts and minds..

self-mastery

the other day i was pondering my struggle here living in ghana. i have gone around and around in my head and in my heart about outward circumstances that have been leaving me without energy. it's more than just missing loved ones and the cultures of south africa. it's more than facing the traffic and lack of infrastructure here. and it's definitely more than the typical things in life that test our resolve, patience, forbearance, etc.

it entered my heart finally that my soul just isn't at peace.  it shouldn't matter what is happening around me.  happiness and contentment are never based on outer circumstances.  they are qualities of the soul.  a peaceful soul is acquiescent, radiantly acquiescent.  a peaceful soul is calm, full of patience, and able to put faith into practice by trusting that everything is God's Will..and God's Will always benefits our souls.

i can feel this internal struggle happening, making me feel discontent when dwelling on what it is that i want to change.  what is essential is that i surrender.  i must stop trying to resist God's Will -- i.e., all of the situations and circumstances of life here in Ghana.  i must stop struggling against what i can't change:

"Whosoever is occupied with himself is wandering in the desert of heedlessness and regret. The 'Master Key' to self-mastery is self- forgetting. The road to the palace of life is through the path of renunciation."    

                                                      (Lights of Guidance, p. 114)

no matter how much i find a situation difficult for me, this counsel to forget what i want is truly the 'light of guidance' for my soul.  i am praying and striving to surrender.  it's a spiritual journey of communing with God while often feeling quietly alone in my struggle to forget myself.  i'm not there yet but i can feel myself feeling less disturbed when i focus on giving up my will for the sake of God's Will.  it requires complete conscious effort at first.  the more effort i make to conform to the Will of God, the easier and quicker it will be for me to evolve into exhibiting that spiritual habit of effortless acquiescence.  i must always remember the 'master key'..