thoughts this morning

it's 7:10am.  the familiar sounds which fill the air -- pavers being swept by the gardener with a handmade straw broom, heavy trucks with squeaky breaks and bundles that rattle, roosters cockadoodle-dooing, and ghanaian music from a small handheld radio at the guards' area in our compound -- are dulled a bit by the fan of the air conditioning as i sit, for the first time in many months, on my bed (instead of downstairs at my desk) to capture a moment of mama time before being on call as a mama for the rest of the day.  i awoke at 4:35 this morning for the fast, wanting to wake up earlier than usual so i could peruse the Ocean of Baha'u'llah's Revelation in a relaxed manner while eating a variety of small portions of food before the sun rose.  now that it has risen, the neighborhood is very alive with people walking or riding bicycles along dirt and paved roads.  taxis are beeping all along the roads in the hope of getting business, and my neighbors are outside brushing their teeth, washing their clothes and preparing for the day of selling smoked fish, sachets of water and a variety of convenience foodstuffs.  last, but far from least, i hear the door handles of my boys' bedroom open and close as quietly as they can as they leave and enter their room -- they go downstairs to pray, read stories, take their supplements, turn on the computer (only during a non-school day like today) and sometimes go outside to play ball or ride their bicycles.  ayana, age 13, is still sleeping with all of the curtains closed as much as possible to prevent the sunlight from entering her room..

Gideon is planning on coming by at 8:30 -- he will be on time because he doesn't want to miss going to the market with us.  yesterday he came over with a sullen face.  when i asked him if he wanted to talk, he nodded his head and we left the living room (where everyone was starting to watch Karate Kid) to talk in the kitchen.  as i sat on the floor with him, he whispered to me that he heard that the jr. youth went swimming in the ocean that day.  he wishes he was a jr. youth and part of the group (he's only 9).  i told him i understood and that since today was a public holiday, perhaps he could hang out all day with some of the jr. youth.  his face lit up with anticipation of hanging out with us.  when i said his sisters would come after i went to the market in the morning, he asked if he could come with us.. of course i said yes!

5 of the jr. youth weren't able to make it to the outing yesterday so today they will come to hang out.  we'll work on the keyhole garden now that everyone is eager and ready to begin the work.  i'm grateful that they are interested in this kind of service and pray that we can sustain it so that it may serve as a model for other youth and families in this area to begin their own.  i'm looking forward to just being with the jr. youth, some of whom are shy and are gradually coming out of their shell through these moments of being together..

it's time to help the boys with breakfast.  i can hear them in the kitchen, making all kinds of clanging sounds. :)

counsels of Baha'u'llah that guide us through each day:

"Let him do some good to every person whose path he crosseth and be of some benefit to him."

"Ye live to do good and to bring hapiness to others."

"The betterment of the world can be accomplished through pure and goodly deeds, through commendable and seemly conduct."
"Ye must show forth tenderness and love to every human being, even to your enemies."

51 reasons to fast...by Kevin Locke

dyami's painting, april 2011: the tree is reaching up to the sun

 

my dear friend, cindy ravines, sent this list to me, as forwarded to her from Kevin Locke:

 

 

FASTING IS THE SUN . . .

reposted from Kevin Isgor-Locke

1.  The Fast is a bounty.

2.  The Fast induces tranquility.

3.  It is the supreme remedy.

4.  If is the most great healing for the disease of self and passion.

5.  Innumerable effects and benefits are concealed therein.

6.  It produces awareness and awakening in man.

7.  Fasting is the cause of the elevation of one’s spiritual station.

8.  Makes you mindful of the woes and sufferings of the destitute.

9.  Fasting and obligatory prayer are as two wings to man’s life.

10.  The Fast increaseth your love.

11.  It is the source of purification.

12.  Fasting acts as stimulant to the soul.

13.  It strengthens the soul.

14.  It revives and purify it.

15.  Fasting refreshes and reinvigorates the spiritual forces latent in the soul.

16.  It heightens the awareness of conversation with God.

17.  It is a spiritual pilgrimage toward the sacred heart of the faith.

18.  Fasting is a symbol, a sign, a reminder of the life realities.

19.  It is a divine law.

20.  It forces us to remember who we are.

21.  It allows us to gain control of the appetite.

22.  Fasting initiates a healing process in the body.

23.  It forces the body to divest energy from the digestive system to the immune system.

24.  It reduces the core body temperature.

25.  It increases the efficiency of hormone regulation.

26.  Fasting brings about a feeling of rejuvenation.

27.  It forces a slower metabolic rate.

28.  It creates more efficient protein production.

29.  It improves immune system.

30.  It contributes to longer life.

31.  Fasting increases physical and mental endurance.

32.  Fasting brings the ultimate rest.

33.  It is the spiritual exercise.

34.  It makes us attain to the station of knowledge of one’s self.

35.  Fasting offers a period of meditation and prayer.

36.  It offers a period of spiritual recuperation.

37.  It helps one to make the necessary readjustments in the inner life.

38.  It refreshes and reinvigorates the spiritual forces latent in the soul.

39.  Fasting is symbolic.

40.  It is a reminder of abstinence from selfish and carnal desires.

41.  Fasting is the cause of awakening man.

42.  During fasting the heart becomes tender and the spirituality of man increases.

43.  Material fasting is a token of the spiritual fasting.

44.  Thoughts will be confined to the commemoration of God.

45.  Though this awakening and stimulation surely ideal advancements follow.

46.  Fasting is the exercise of self-control which is of great benefit to the soul.

47.  Fasting, like prayer, is between you and God.

48.  It is an opportunity to focus on our spiritual nature.

49.  It is a test of all acquired virtues.

50.  It positively reforms the mold of attitudes.

51.  The station of absolute self-surrender transcendeth, and will ever remain exalted above, every other station.

fasting reflections..suffering

the plant i look at each day while sitting at our dining room table

this flower looks to me as if it is praying.  it has opened itself up to the sun, beseeching and praising the sun for its energy and sustenance.  its beauty symbolizes the Beauty of God.  it is majestic and full of astonishment.  it is in this spirit that i raise my hands in supplication to the Almighty One and draw upon the mysterious forces at work during the Baha'i fast.

outside of the days of the fast, i am usually zipping around the house, constantly doing something, even if it is sitting down preparing a lesson for a children's class.  i carry joy in my heart, with a quiet gratitude for everything that God has chosen for my life -- including the bugs, humidity and our kids' conflicts. :)
 
my energy during the days of fasting shifts to an inward, reflective mode and outwardly i slow down.  i call God consciously to mind as much as i can, emptying my mind of anything i consider petty and material.  i tap into and depend on the spiritual forces derived from prayer and detachment from the things of this world to sustain me, inspire me, cleanse me of impurities and strengthen me to overcome my many weaknesses.

this weekend (the 2nd and 3rd days of the fast) we hosted a friend who spent about a year in the northern region of ghana.  she shared many stories of great difficulty -- extreme heat, giant locusts, no electricity or water sometimes, many types of insects and geckos finding their way to her bed, silt from dirt roads in the air and constantly settling in her home, rashes from the water stored in tanks, never a clean or accessible toilet when traveling, etc.

just listening to these stories -- the most creepy being when she woke up to a giant ant burrowing itself in her open wound by her knee when she fell the night before -- flooded my being with awe at how people have great capacity to endure the difficulties of this life.  i have had my share of hardships, pain and sufferings but it feels like nothing compared to the daily experience of living in extreme hot temperatures without modern conveniences (including something simple like bug repellent) -- every aspect of life is difficult.  the body doesn't get to shower away the never-ending presence of perspiration; the food one prepares is without running water to simply rinse rice and beans or clean vegetables; the clothes one wears requires handwashing and hanging (on which invisible eggs are laid by bugs that make the skin itch when worn); the time of menstruation must be indescribably difficult without enough water to wash oneself or any linens that become soiled..

tests and difficulties are blessings in disguise.  they are the means by which we, as souls on this journey we call life, grow nearer to God -- we must choose to respond to them using the virtues of God with which He has endowed our souls, no matter how excruciatingly difficult.  sometimes we are tested in ways that feel beyond our capacity.  but God never tests a soul beyond its capacity.  those who suffer the most attain the greatest station in the sight of God.  with God's inscrutable wisdom, there is recompense in the world beyond for the suffering in this world..

"It is only through suffering that the nobility of character can make itself manifest...It is transformed into fortitude, steadfastness and magnanimity. The lives of Bahá'u'lláh and 'Abdu'l-Bahá are the best examples for this. Sacrifices in the path of one's religion produce always immortal results, 'Out of the ashes rises the phoenix'."

    (Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 603)

in my silent reflection today, i realize that i haven't been tested in ways that i perceive as very, very difficult to endure.  i do not know how i would be facing their circumstances.  i trust their suffering -- which is primarily a result of the body politic not having true love and unity which it needs to care for everyone -- will be recompensed according to God's inscrutable wisdom in the worlds beyond this physical life.  in addition, i know that we are all tested by God, each according to our own unique role in God's Will.  there is no comparison.  each soul has its own suffering to face or struggles of self to overcome.  there are many ways in which God tests His servants:  money, other people, natural disasters, disease, poverty, death, materialism and many other changes and chances of this world.

"... Suffering, of one kind or another, seems to be the portion of man in this world. Even the Beloved ones, the Prophets of God, have never been exempt from the ills that are to be found in our world; poverty, disease, bereavement - they seem to be part of the polish God employs to make us finer, and enable us to reflect more of His attributes!.."

    (Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 603)

i will continue praying to remain steadfast in my love for God, no matter what He chooses for my path to grow nearer to Him..i don't want to be ensnared by materialism, frozen with lethargy after a natural disaster, or frustrated with cockroaches.. we are each like that flower whose beauty is revealed gradually through opening itself up to the Creator and submitting to whatever forces of Nature come its way.

fasting..a reminder of the sufferings of the destitute

today is the first day of the Baha'i fast which lasts for 19 days and is followed by the Baha'i New Year.  the Baha'i fast transcends the physical restraints of abstaining from food and drink after sunrise and before sunset.  each moment holds an exalted position in the realms of God as one fasts "out of love for Thee and for Thy good-pleasure -- and not out of self and desire, nor out of fear of Thy wrath.." [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.3]

as a Baha'i, one never knows if one's deeds are accepted in the sight of God.  it is known to Him alone.  fasting is a very personal and intimate time of communing with God.  in one of the Baha'i prayers, Baha'u'llah reveals for us,

"..Deign to accept, O my God, the deeds that we have performed in Thy path wholly for the sake of Thy beauty with our faces set towards Thy Cause, free from aught else but Thee.."

   [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.5]

when i meditate on the prayers revealed for the fast, i am brought into that position of submissiveness, humbled before the Almighty One.  i know that i strive to serve God and His creation but have i truly offered up any service in His sight as wholly for His sake?  is my intention pure enough?  is my heart empty of all self-interests and detachment from all else except Him?

 "We, verily, have set forth all things in Our Book, as a token of grace unto those who have believed in God, the Almighty, the Protector, the Self-Subsisting. And We have ordained obligatory prayer and fasting so that all may by these means draw nigh unto God, the Most Powerful, the Well-Beloved. We have written down these two laws and expounded every irrevocable decree. We have forbidden men from following whatsoever might cause them to stray from the Truth, and have commanded them to observe that which will draw them nearer unto Him Who is the Almighty, the All-Loving. Say: Observe ye the commandments of God for love of His beauty, and be not of those who follow in the ways of the abject and foolish."

[Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.1] 

observing the law of fasting for these 19 days enables me to draw upon the spiritual forces released through prayer and detaching ourselves from all physical pleasures and selfish desires.  i am focused on cleansing or purifying my heart and mind of all my weaknesses and faults which prevent me from drawing nearer to God. this law of Baha'u'llah is like the brightest light which attracts my soul like a magnet in the direction of selflessness, obedience to God, sole reliance upon Him, and increased capacity to serve Him with a pure heart.


it is my first time fasting in ghana.  many Christians here fast several times a year, sometimes for 21 days at a time.  i am aware that the ghanaian farmers in the northern region fast as a way of life because there is so little food, water and money available to them (they eat once a day, in the evening).. most of the families i know, whose kids visit us all the time, have no pipes with running water.  they have no electricity.  they pound cassava root.  they wash their clothes by hand.  they depend on Nature to provide for the food they grow and for God to bless them -- in this way they have a great love for God and His grace, which they call to mind constantly when asked how they are doing.  there is no separation for them in their day for prayer.  it is a constant breathing in their minds and hearts..knowing them and seeing how they live

these friends, and millions of souls i don't know in the world, suffer from hunger and thirst on a daily basis.  water is not always able to be collected, and when it is, it may not be pure enough to drink.  even if it is pure enough to drink, it needs to be rationed and used for cooking, cleaning and washing.  these days water can be purchased in small sachets for a small amount of money, but money is scarce for most people as well.  many children do not even attend public schools because they don't have enough money for school uniforms and books.  so when i read..

"All praise be unto God, Who hath revealed the law of obligatory prayer as a reminder to His servants, and enjoined on them the Fast that those possessed of means may become apprised of the woes and sufferings of the destitute."

 [Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.2]

..i am moved to the depths of my being because i know i need to be more 'apprised of the woes and sufferings' of my friends, my neighbors.  i am constantly thinking of the suffering around me, and i expend on my brethren as much as i can each day, but i know it's not enough.  i know the standard is the life of Abdu'l-Baha.  each year i am striving to reach closer to that standard of servitude -- selfless servitude and sacrifice for the sake of others, perfectly knowing how, when, and what to offer of my substance to all who cross my path..

"One who performeth neither good deeds nor acts of worship is like unto a tree which beareth no fruit, and an action which leaveth no trace. Whosoever experienceth the holy ecstasy of worship will refuse to barter such an act or any praise of God for all that existeth in the world. Fasting and obligatory prayer are as two wings to man's life. Blessed be the one who soareth with their aid in the heaven of the love of God, the Lord of all worlds."

[Baha'u'llah, 'The Importance of Obligatory Prayer and Fasting', p.1]

not in my backyard

we hosted an Ayyam-i-Ha party for children and jr. youth 2 days ago.  aside from the joyful singing and drumming, activities and delicious cookies, more than 60 kids came and it was difficult for dashiel and i to manage.  one of our neighbors called -- we share a compound with 4 other houses -- to ask what was going on and i explained that we were having a party.  she was expressing concern about the number of children and i agreed, explaining that 2 jr. youth groups came to perform and it was more than we had expected.  she said that she wanted to talk more with me about this at another time..  

last night she called to say she feels her privacy is being infringed upon by us having children from the neighborhood visit.  she explained that the entrance area and pavers to my home is a shared area.  she is very concerned -- fearful actually -- that something may happen to one of them because she believes wholeheartedly that the neighborhood will turn against us and we will experience a 'mob' of people coming to hurt not only us, but her as well..

her final argument was that, despite her respect and support for what i am doing to educate the children, i should not be inviting the kids to my home for this 'community project' but rather, i should go to their homes and visit them.  she thinks it is unfair to her to continually have to share the compound with the neighborhood kids for my 'work' (even though they do not wander into anyone else's home environment).  she said that i shouldn't consider our house/yard areas as private spaces because we all share the compound..

as i was listening to her and trying to respond with patience, kindness and tactfulness, i started shaking.  my nerves were full of adrenaline -- it is very difficult for me to face such conflict and opposition.  i tried to address each of her issues with reason but it only led to her revealing an additional issue.  i said that the party is a once a year event and that next year we would limit the number of people.  this led to her saying that if we are all still living here next year she would not want me to have a party at all.  when i tried to explain that all of the kids we associate with are now our friends, not merely kids that we educate -- that we have had their parents to our home and that we visit their homes as well -- she reduced our right to associate with whomsoever we like to a 'community project'.  when i asked if anything happened to her property as a result of the party or any other time in the past 9 months, she replied that this is not the point and proceeded to express her concern about the use of the pool (which recently happened on 2 occasions, each for 30 minutes each, with less than 4 people each time).  i agreed that the pool can be dangerous (even with me watching) and said that i would stop letting these friends use the pool altogether.  she then insisted on me not having the kids in the compound at all because it is unfair to her sense of privacy..

with that i simply replied, 'oh, well, i am sorry i don't agree with you about this'.  i let her know that dashiel was ready to talk with her.  i handed him the phone and ran upstairs to pray.  i could hear him talk as a civil rights attorney with a passion for protecting the rights of the disadvantaged and oppressed peoples of this world.  he was very concise and clear about where we stand with this situation:

• we will not have any more big parties
• we will not invite the neighborhood kids to use the pool
• we WILL exercise our right to invite whoever is our friend to our home without any discrimination unless that person has done something to infringe on any of our neighbors' properties

when dashiel hung up the phone, the 5 of us sat together on the boys' beds to discuss what had happened.  we helped the children understand how prejudice makes a person's argument unreasonable.  they base a lot of what they say on fear.  there was no logical way to talk with our neighbor about this situation.  we explained to our children that we must be willing to suffer when we stand up for justice.  we may have to move as a result of this woman's vehement opposition to our friends' coming to visit us everyday.  we talked about truly loving our enemies as Abdu'l-Baha did, showing to them that uncompromising, loving-kindness despite their anger or dislike of how we live..

today i am filled with many thoughts of how insidious prejudice is and how all throughout history it has resulted in 2 opposing sides: those who get it and those who don't.  those who are in the courts putting forth strong arguments in defense of the white man who is accused of atrocities against black people, and those who are imprisoned for trying to uphold the principles of justice in a world that favors the privileged, the wealthy, and the powerful.

i realize that my neighbor wants poverty and all of its inherent difficulties to end -- and has disclosed to me how her heart has been saddened by what she has seen in ghana -- but she does not want it done in her backyard.  i grew up with that saying..people say a lot about the need for change in the world but the moment it starts happening near them they start to complain and worry about the difficulty they may face in the process..

our family is striving to live a life of service to the world of humanity.  we are free of prejudice against poor people.  we treat all people as equal in the sight of God.  we love each soul as a loved one of God.  we open our home to our neighbors with a bright and friendly face, building trust through mingling in the closest of associations.  we are focused on spiritual and academic education of children and jr. youth as a means of enabling souls to have the opportunity to reach their fullest capacity morally and intellectually..

our neighbor is a wealthy, educated, young, professional, black woman from angola.  she has expressed fear of the neighborhood families from the moment we met her.  she truly believes that if anything happens with one of these kids that everyone in their extended family, as well as the neighborhood in general, will come and attack us.  i do not feel or believe it is a rational belief.  if there will ever be an uprising of the poor people here, perhaps it would happen to the foreigners who are not associating at all with the community, as they would be viewed with contempt and mistrust..

what is most disturbing to me is how this woman's fear of 'something happening' to the kids would not be there if we were friends with wealthy families.  she would not be opposed to me having kids over, for whatever purpose, if they did not make her face her prejudice against people who are poor.  i am not naive.  i realize crime exists, as well as carelessness, ignorance and negligence -- but kids from all classes present the possibility of mischief, mistakes, accidents, poor behavior, etc..

the issue then becomes one of perception.  kids who are well dressed and attend schools that are providing a better education are perceived as less of a threat to one's well-being.  yet we all know that very wealthy, educated people are responsible for an immeasurable amount of corruption and crime in this world.  an article in the news today coincidentally reports that a study was done out of Berkeley demonstrating that "..higher-status people tended to behave in ways that served their own self-interest."  it questions the perception that those with less material well-being are more likely to commit some kind of crime -- it feels as though my neighbor is acting in a negative way to serve her own self-interest..

Abdu'l-Baha counsels us:

Is it possible for one member of a family to be subjected to the utmost misery and to abject poverty and for the rest of the family to be comfortable? It is impossible unless those members of the family be senseless, atrophied, inhospitable, unkind. Then they would say, "Though these members do belong to our family -- let them alone. Let us look after ourselves. Let them die. So long as I am comfortable, I am honored, I am happy -- this my brother -- let him die. If he be in misery let him remain in misery, so long as I am comfortable. If he is hungry let him remain so; I am satisfied. If he is without clothes, so long as I am clothed, let him remain as he is. If he is shelterless, homeless, so long as I have a home, let him remain in the wilderness."

Such utter indifference in the human family is due to lack of control, to lack of a working law, to lack of kindness in its midst. If kindness had been shown to the members of this family surely all the members thereof would have enjoyed comfort and happiness.

    (Abdu'l-Baha, Foundations of World Unity, p. 38)

 i'm relying on prayer and patience in the midst of difficulty.  for now we have no close association with our neighbor who feels we have infringed on her right of privacy, and we continue to welcome with genuine affection the children and jr. youth who come to our home each day to learn and enjoy a peaceful way of family life with us.  i pray that in time 'our backyard' will touch our neighbor's heart and serve as an example for how poverty can be alleviated, one soul at a time. :)

starting a keyhole garden in accra

just beyond this home, to the right, will be the keyhole garden

i am at the very beginning stages of making my first keyhole garden with some children, junior youth and their families -- my friends and neighbors.  we are at the early stage of planning and gathering the necessary materials needed to undertake this sustainable agricultural technique.

a keyhole garden in Lesotho

after consulting with the jr. youth and visiting one of the mothers with a video of how the women in Uganda build keyhole gardens, we have chosen a plot of land in our neighbor's lot on the other side of the wall from our compound.   2 of the jr. youth we know live there; their younger brother, who is 10, is one of three children who have started carrying soil in buckets, on their heads, from a big pile a block away.  this pile of soil belongs to my gardener.  since it is extra and he has no use for it, he said we could have it for a small amount of money.  i bought it for gh5 which is about $3.  it will be just enough to fill the garden bed.  the kids will gather large stones and rocks, as well as dried grasses and long sticks.  once they are prepared i will purchase chicken fertilizer and cow manure.  they are going to begin saving the charcoal ash in one location (instead of spreading it out in various locations) and i have some twine to tie around the sticks once we make the inner circle.

the one resource we need, which has always limited people's ability to grow food easily, is water.  these families do not have running water in their homes.  they must collect it from a location down the street.  sometimes water is in short supply and must be saved for washing and cooking.  since i live in a compound with a water storage tank, and since this method requires less water than traditional farming, i will be able to supply the keyhole garden with any additional water that they need.  it can be held in the large plastic containers with a spout that people use for transporting water.

the idea came from Celia Beaumont, a Baha'i who lives in South Africa.  she had seen a post by me on Facebook when i mentioned i was going to start a gardening project with our neighbors.  i started researching about keyhold gardens online and immediately found myself absorbed in the abundant and rewarding benefits of this method for growing food on a small scale (this video link features a keyhole garden in Lesotho).  now i am passionate about making it happen in our neighborhood.  it will be a big learning experience for all of us and one that embodies the full spirit of arising to serve one's community -- demonstrating to the kids and youth how divine confirmation works through consistent and continual effort to achieve one's goals.

ubuntu ~ 'be worthy of the trust of thy neighbor'

this is Monica Ampong.  she is my neighbor.  this photo shows where she lives.  she is the mother of 2 of the jr. youth in our group, 'Gems of Justice'.  the wooden stand next to her is where she sells sachets of water, eggs that her hens lay, and a few other basic items that Ghanaians use for cooking on a daily basis, like hot peppers, tomatoes, gari and spices.  recently, however, she has only been selling water.  her eldest daughter explained that it's because they needed to use the money for school and food to eat so there was no extra money to buy more goods to sell.

directly behind Monica, off to the left, is the area where the family spends most of their time.  this is my favorite area to sit.  it's where the grains are ground, where the food is prepared, where they eat, where the washing and bathing is done, and where all of the joy, reading and relaxation is done.  there is a tree that provides shade -- they move around small benches and stools to accommodate themselves the best they can.

the low wall in that area is used to store water.  it is always very low or empty except when the heavy rains fall.  beyond this area is where the cassava grows and where they have private areas for 'going to the bathroom'.  the open area that is cleared is used for playing soccer and making pottery.

Monica is the first friend here in Ghana with whom i share the spirit of ubuntu.  when i met her, i felt magnetically attracted to her.  i was instantly drawn to her. she is one of the sweetest, humblest souls i have ever met.  she smiles instantly and constantly.  she has worked very hard her entire life and shows no desire for anything beyond what God has bountifully provided.  she demonstrates contentment and radiant acquiescence.  she has 6 children, all of whom are lovely souls with good manners and good natures.  her youngest daughter, magdalene, is the girl i wrote a post about recently; she is a sincere, searching soul with an open heart that is full of receptivity..

i am one to hug and show a lot of affection but she is not.  now when she sees me walking along the dirt road which leads to her compound, she jumps up and comes to greet me with a hug. :)  she speaks little english so i rely on her eldest daughter to translate a lot of what we say to each other.  our most recent time together was spent sharing a YouTube video about keyhole gardening.  she and her family already grow cassava but they have difficulty growing any vegetables because the chickens eat the seeds they plant.  they haven't devised a way to raise a garden bed or secure it with chicken wire.  Monica's children and the rest of the jr. youth are excited to begin a sustainable garden on her land.  i, too, am excited to be part of something that will contribute to economic and ecological development in this neighborhood..

Monica with her husband, Francis

trust has been the most significant thing that we've developed.  it is an invisible force that leads to incalculable results.  a few examples are: i don't have to wonder if she's giving me less vegetables than for what i am paying.  she lets her children come to my home many days a week, even late into the night, with unquestioned support and acceptance.  i make suggestions (like the keyhole gardening) or demonstrate acts of generosity and she knows my intentions are pure..  trust is the vital link and gateway for well-being and security in this world -- and it cannot result except through unity -- which, to me, translates into the way of 'ubuntu': a very practical, interdependent, interconnected way of living with each other in a community.  i am grateful for knowing Monica and being able to live in an African neighborhood, sharing the spirit of 'ubuntu' with my African sister:

Tutu further explained Ubuntu in 2008:^[4]

One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu – the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality – Ubuntu – you are known for your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole World. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.

Nelson Mandela explained Ubuntu as follows:^[5]

A traveller through a country would stop at a village and he didn't have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the people give him food, entertain him. That is one aspect of Ubuntu, but it will have various aspects. Ubuntu does not mean that people should not enrich themselves. The question therefore is: Are you going to do so in order to enable the community around you to be able to improve?