November 16, 2007

wings of detachment

As i enter the realm of homelessness from my native land, there is a feeling of leaving behind all that is comforting and understood, reliable and loved. Sometimes it feels like i'm a bird soaring with detachment from this world; other times i feel like i'm longing to stay in the tree or hold on to whatever it is that makes me feel i am who i am. The times when i'm soaring on the wings of detachment are when i am most happy. It is the times when i'm attached to this world that i feel sadness. i know this is an internal process of spiritual growth, one that will continue until my last breath is taken, yet the reality is that it's sometimes painful to make changes -- and yet without these changes, we are likely to remain at a level of attachment to this world which deprives our spirit from soaring like the bird, thus perhaps missing experiencing an extra closeness with God which comes from complete reliance upon Him when we have no one else or when there are difficulties and new challenges to face. I am happy to have this opportunity to test my wings of detachment and see where they will take my spirit.

April 06, 2007

The true foundation of all economics

" create love in the hearts in order that they may become glowing and radiant. When that love is shining, it will permeate other hearts even as this electric light illumines its surroundings. When the love of God is established, everything else will be realized. This is the true foundation of all economics....Show what love is, what kindness is, what true severance accordance with the teachings of Baha'u'llah....Economic questions will not attract hearts. The love of God alone will attract them. Economic questions are most interesting; but the power which moves, controlsa and attracts the hearts of men is the love of God."

Early morning reflection

This morning our 3 year old son walked into our bedroom and quietly woke me up with, "Mama, my leg is hurting." He sometimes has 'growing pains' in his little calf muscles. So i rubbed his little muscles and asked him to go back to sleep. It was 5:44am. He returned several minutes later with the same complaint. This time i rubbed him and realized his jammies were damp, so now i'm wide awake and taking him to the bathroom to give him pain medicine and change his clothes. He enjoyed the sweet medicine and wanted to sleep naked, so i sent him to his bed while i took care of his things.

Now i'm laying in bed, awake but tired. My mind is thinking about how these nightly interruptions occur with such consistent regularity that if i get a whole night's sleep without being woken, i feel more tired than when i don't. It's as if my body is accustomed to little sleep, so a good night's sleep actually makes my body realize what it's been missing..... But after a moment of restfulness and hope that my son was not going to come back into the room, i felt the cotton covers touching my chin. Any complaint or negativity about not being able to fall back asleep vanished: I wasn't fearful of my life. I am not in a refugee camp. No one has raped me. I am not hungry. I have a home. God has given me beautiful children. I am warm....

It was a moment of connecting with the oneness of our humanity that enabled me to stop being self-consumed by an inconvenience. How dare i grumble when my brothers and sisters are facing insurmountable and extremely difficult physical challenges in the face of poverty, war, natural disasters, etc. In a moment i felt grateful and content.

April 04, 2007

nothin' but love

i spoke with an old and dear friend today, a mother of 3 who has just written a book. she spoke of life and how we wake up after 10 years and realize we haven't taken care of some areas of ourselves (mostly as a result of focusing on the work of raising our children). it enabled me to feel gratitude for all i have been able to do and be in the past 15 years.

i see life each day as a new beginning. there's a thread of woven interconnectedness to our lives, yet as we grow in some ways we become new people; we look back and see a different person in ourselves. in other ways we evolve gradually like a tree with new rings, ever maturing through many delightful sunny days and many difficult storms.

through all of it, there's love, the most powerful force in this world, this life, this existence, which operates as God's Will for all of us. i never want to be unmindful of this force, this ever-flowing light which is waiting to touch each soul's journey in this life.  no matter where we are, or what stage of life we're in, or how agonizing the test, there's love from God to us. it's just a matter of remembering and letting it touch our hearts as we face each new day, each new beginning.